but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
