You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
