i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
