That's intense
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
