It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
