so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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