I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
