just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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