biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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