all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is the high leading the old right now
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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