Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
love makes seman taste better
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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