Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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