I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
