I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i think i just lost a toe
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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