and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
