omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
PANTIES FOUND
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