It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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