Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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