If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
