I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Operation Purity has been aborted
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
