you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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