Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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