i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
