she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
