Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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