an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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