I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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