you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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