last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
