is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
