if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
