I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize