I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We smell like vodka and hangover
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