I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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