I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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