Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
