why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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