Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize