so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize