Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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