Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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