What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
