Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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