she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
