just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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