Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
