sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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