scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
