Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
