its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
