That's intense
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Boobs speak an international language.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
