let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
