no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
