just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
