I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
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Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
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We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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