I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
