all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We got so high we made milksteak
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Operation Purity has been aborted
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he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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