i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
