Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
