just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on