you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
