even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
did i walk over a car last night?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
