Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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