She is in my trunk
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
