you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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