Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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