i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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