were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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